Part of the pattern is being in a relationship with a T who is aloof and not nurturing, so you kept banging your head against the wall in therapy trying to get something beyond what the T permitted. Now you are breaking that pattern by being in a relationship with a T who will allow secure attachment. The idea is that you are working towards that with her, and that is something you have never had in therapy before. When you get there, and experience that for a while, you will learn to internalize the care and then be able to manage in life better without the T, because you can better give yourself what you need. The very act of being in a secure relationship is very healing, so you may be surprised what you can accomplish after that. So if your H really wants an explanation, you could tell him that (if you agree).

Sometimes I think that involving another person in the details of one's therapy is not productive. JMO.