Hey, whether or not you are gay (I don't really think you are) you shouldn't judge yourself for you sexual experiences. That's harsh. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate regarding the depression. We are all here to support each other. Sorry I don't have anything helpful to say except that we're here for you. I will tell you that this site has helped me a lot. For example, I was deep in despair (curled up on my bed just minutes ago) I hit this site. I feel better. All I've done is respond to other's posts. Don't give up. It was a well written post, detailed. You will do well here.

Good luck. Stay with us.

PS Sounds like you need a change of diet. I found out late in life that I have a sensitivity to wheat, limes, lemon, and rice. These foods were causing me all kinds of problems (including depression, skin problems, cysts, nutrient deficiencies, etc) and I had no idea. I never would have known if my twin sister hadn't had a blood test to identify food allergies. I've found eating more fruit (some days only fruit) eases my depression. Sometimes I'll eat one kind of fruit til I'm full for a meal.