It is a really good book by rachel reiland about a her own struggles with and treatment for BPD.
I read it a couple of years ago but decided to read it again.
When I first read it, I related so much to what she wrote. I could relate to the intensity of the feelings/moods/reactions and the despair, the self hatred, the self harm and thoughts of suicide. I was fascinated with her therapy and her therapist!

Now that I am 3 years into my own therapy, I was curious to see what it would be like to re-visit the book and it's helped me realize how much better I am feeling and how much easier my life feels, and being with others feels *most* of the time. Therapy has helped me understand myself, others, and what my fears are, where my fears originate, and how to stay more in-the-moment. All that has helped me to relax and feel better.
I still have some horrible times of despair but even those feel different now, and I am finally able to look back at them afterwards to learn more about those times. It used to be shame would make me unable to think about them, would make me bury the whole experience because I was glad it was over. And sometimes the relief is so great, I think I was afraid of losing that by looking at what I had just experienced: how it started, how it escalated, what my deep fear was. It always seems to be a hidden fear, hidden from my awareness sometimes until I am past the time of despair. It is amazing how simple fears can trigger so intensely.

It's good to see that my own therapy is working and I am relating to the book differently.