Ok, let me start by saying I WAS THE WIFE. My husband sought "friendship" outside our marriage via the internet and it turned into a months long "cyber affair". When I found out, it just about destroyed our marriage (the wonderful folks here actually helped me work through it), and even four years later, the trust issue remains. Bottom line is if this guy is seeking friendship outside the marriage, and his wife doean't know about it, it's cheating. Why? Because it's a violation of trust in their marriage. So honey, kid yourself all you want, if his wife doesn't know you, has never met you and isn't privy to your conversations with him, you two are already CHEATING. Oh, and why should you have to consider her feelings? BECAUSE SHE'S A PERSON! Ever hear the golden rule "treat people how you wish to be treated?" If you're so callous that you can't see this from her perspective, you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of person you are.