((((geez))))

I am sorry you are so angry and had a bad session with t. You do not deserve to hate yourself. I think there is a good reason you are disconnected and shut off from your emotions and I would say it is not your fault but something you had to do in order to deal with what you went through.

For me I do understand-although now I am finally getting them and do not know what I am supposed to do with them and I cannot seam to attach them to where they need to go.

For almost 47 years I have not had much with emotions other than fear and sadness. I would feel so upset when I could not allow myself to get too close to any emotion that I would not be able to express what I was really feeling.

I know that others got frustrated and I was even more frustrated at myself. But as I started working on things and facing truths that I had not faced recently, had a support team and supportive friend in place, and for the most part safer than I have ever been (although at times I have to question that), and I began to accept things I never would allow myself to even go near, the emotions seemed to come out of nowhere.

As hard as it was to not have emotions, over the past week I have felt almost like I wish I could shut them off again. But I know that I will be able to do this in time and somehow they will begin to make sense (or I am hoping so anyway).

You blocked out emotions for a reason and at the time it was something you felt you needed to do. I believe as you allow yourself to face and accept what you are dealing with in time when you are ready those emotions will come back. For me as those within that hold those emotions feel safe enough and they know I am ready to handle them they will continue to be released.

Breath ((((geez)))) they will come in time and you will be ready to deal with them. Until then, be kind to you and know that you are right where you are supposed to be. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps