So it's been a really good 4 days... just realised its only been 4 days since I had my last 'crisis' that doesn't seem like long at all.

Today I am feeling unsettled.

I spoke with him about an hour ago so I should be feeling content
Not really sure why I am starting to feel like I am - can't even really put a name to the emotion, which is why I am writing here.

It's the way he says at the end of the conversations "love you lots" - it feels 'off the cuff'... not deep and meaningful - does it have to feel deep and meaningful all of the time? I have explained to him that it should only be said when it is felt, that Mark continued to say it to me when he didn't feel it and that has put a bit of a stigma on the words for me. He says that he only says it because he DOES mean it.

See the more I write the nicer he sounds, so why the confusion in my head?

It's the weekend and I think that I am missing him. He told me today that after this contract is up then there is plenty more work for him.. some a bit closer to home and others overseas (India and Dubai). The overseas rosters are sort of better, 6 weeks away and 4 weeks back.. but geeze 6 weeks!! I struggle with 4. This contract doesn't end until early next year, so I am probably stressing for nothing, but for me if the realtionship is to work then he has to stick to what he said which was only a year more of working away... But the money is the lure, it will be close to $20,000 a month... yes it would set up a brilliant future but for there to be a future he needs to be here too.

Now i am just ranting and letting all my thoughts pour out of my head
did not mean this to be long post.

How can I cope with the up and down emotions? Writing helps, talking even better - especially with him. Any other tips?