My Support Forums - View Single Post - What are these Emotions and are they safe?

lynn09 · Sep 04, 2010, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

What do you do when you have never had emotions and they are hitting you at once and it seems you have no where to turn? You have no idea how to cope with them and they do not seem to make any sense? Feels as though you are going to be in trouble if you dare feel them yet you cannot turn them off for they are like a faucet that seems broken.

Right now emotions are raging and I cannot find an off button. Maybe there should not be an off button but when you never had then there is no instruction book for them either. It hurts and is scary to feel so much and not know how to feel them or what to do with them now that they are here. It feels as though I will sink in the flood of the tears and the fear shakes as though a storm is here. Although the fear feels so familiar and something I have always known when it mixes with everything else it feels out of control.

Tears fall and sometimes you wonder where they come from or if they will ever stop. And it feels so wrong or like you will be punished and you try to hide it but it screams almost as loud as the voice wanting them to stop. But something inside you tells you they are needed to heal but another part is terrified of what it means. It sometimes feels as though they will never end. Is it normal to feel this and is it okay to allow them to come? Why does it hurt so much and why is it so uncontrollable?

Everywhere we look seems there is a flow of emotions of some kind, and all we know is it is scary and yet something we cannot stop and feels as though it is needed. Are we alone? Will we be okay?

dps

(((((dps))))) I know it is overwhelming and frightening to feel so much all at once - but you are not alone and you will be okay. Those are all the emotions you never allowed yourself to experience throughout your life in order to survive the continual and horrific torture you were subjected to by your abusers, and also maybe because they were the only "real" thing about your life - they were genuine and a part of your true identity, so you held them deep within so as not to lose yourself. They have collected and pooled within you through the years and must be released now - but in releasing them perhaps you are afraid that you will lose part of yourself - the genuine part of your identity. Not so - in releasing those genuine emotions, you are allowing your true feelings and self to emerge from their hiding place - allowing your true identity to have a presence in reality. Emotions are intended to be expressed, not contained - just like a physical wound has to release an infection in order to heal. The more you release them, the more accustomed you will become to them and their intensity will lessen. Do not be afraid of those emotions - they are you just as your words are you - let them out so you can heal. Your Friend lynn09