I think all that is what "life" is. No one has an easy/happy life all the time. Everyone is struggling to figure out who they are and what they're supposed to be doing, how to cope with this and that liability, illness, loss, etc.

I "wasted" about 15-20 years of my life due to me, how I was/was not brought up, defenses, symptoms, etc. I literally was "not there".

But that perception of those years is really just "another" perception, what "really" happened and its effect can't be known until the whole is played out. Checking out saved my life at that time so I could get to this "long" life. For all I know, the week after next I might meet someone who is "waiting" for me and save their life. Can't know that until the end.