I don't qualify for anything more. I was on food stamps for a while but that benefit runs out quickly when you don't have children or disability. You are right about my being unable to do much. I'm walking on eggshells here. The price to be paid. I've looked into shelters but some charge and the ones that don't charge limit the number of days you can stay. I live in a big city and our shelters are overrun.

As for feeling sorry for my twin, if she were sincerely concerned or worried for her health it would be reflected in her behavior. I know for a fact that frozen pizzas are not on her list of what's appropriate for her to eat when she has a fatty liver. This is just her manipulative, attention seeking way. I was brought up to give in to her and tell her how justified it all is. This is triggering all my self hating behaviors. Including binge eating which I didn't give in to. Not being able to turn to my usual coping mechanism is compounding my pain.

I think I reached out more for sympathy than because I thought anyone would have a solution. All I can do really is to keep looking for work, keep eating right and exercising. I can't let her derail my progress with her derision. I handled this morning well though and we're back to friendly. She comes unhenged but it gets spent and then she's better. Unfortunately, 'handling it well' is emotionally exhausting for me. I needed you all this morning and I really appreciate your responses.

BTW so you know, I'm never disrespectful, rude or challenging to my sister. This is her place and she was kind enough to open it to us. It's just had the unfortunate effect of re-establishing emotional abusive patterns of our relationship. I posted this morning because I was hurting from a fresh wound. Thank you, everyone, for being here to give me someone to reach for.