thank you Rapunzel ,, it is very harsh too look at us in that view .. i was in an 18 yr relationship with my husband(began age 14) .. we separated 4 1/2 yrs. ago ,, within 6 weeks i met by current boyfriend (lots of dangerous behaviour and seeking affection) .. i do see a pattern and my relationship right now is VERY rocky .. if i can begin to get help , it will either give me the strength to end it or commit to it and accept him .. if i end it permanently i do not want another relationship until i can be a good girlfriend ,, i explained that to a psychiatrist ,, i told him i fear acting out and looking for affection if i leave .. i just dont want to think i would be alone forever .. and i need to know if my relationship is worth working on .. i has been an extremely hard 4 1/2 years and it is a very complex relationship .. i am scared out of my wits and am confused .. i think i may be overwhelming myself with info ..