i have decided that how im living is not how i want to live and will kill me sooner than later..so i went for help and got diagnosed with a couple of things and going for a psychological analysis on the 17th to diagnose any personality disorders.....i want to be able to go back to work without being so anxious that i end up messing my job up because when im distraught, i either call in sick or have extreme anxiety and cannot pay attention to my job which has bad affects ...and i want to be able to leave my child with a trusted person without thinking im abandoning them so i can work to provide for them,,i want to feel as if im part of the human race instead of someone who always fears embarassment and to stop feeling like im always being analized and judged each second,, i want to be strong enough to leave a bad relationship and not run looking for another, or worse,,i want to be able to define what real love is with a man,,i want to eventually share my life with someone without becoming so insecure and be able to see abuse and reject it instead of thinking i cant do better or deserve it,,i want to walk with my head held high and smile like i am really happy,,i want to be able to take my children to places they would enjoy ,, i want to feel like i am good enough and i want peace in my heart,,i want to be healthy,,,,,the trouble is getting all of that