I just don't know what to do

there's no way to get over aging and dying for me

I know it

I just took a xanax so I could pass out all day and avoid the day

I am thinking of taking another one and more every day because there is no purpose to my life since I cannot function anymore

I feel so unsafe and threatened every second and my 62 year old mother is living fully with zero fear and no worries and living MY life

Im so ashamed and worried and terrified

I kept begging my parents and therapist and psychiatrist to help me and I can't do anything for myself at all now since I am paralyzed by fear and have zero hope and every second is infested with disturbing thoughts because I know i will get worse but no one did anything