Thank you both

Sanity, I'll have a look at the links.. sounds good. Love you x

Muser, I think that is pretty spot on. I was blindsided and it was horrible. Now yes i am trying to get in first/find out first if anything is not right but I'm guessing that Louis is actually a good man.. I just have to realise that and yes realise that I DO deserve to be happy and have happiness for the rest of my life

Thanks girls, you are the best.

I talked with Lou last night, and it was good. It's more a feeling of being lonely when he is away (no matter how many people are around me) and yes the frustration of wondering if the relationship will really work.. it's been almost 3 months and in that time I have seen him 3 weeks grrrrr... I just don't want to be wasting my time - therefore the up and down emotions (sadness and anger plus the jealousy!) But i have fallen in love and I guess it just has to play out which ever way it can Who would have thought that I would actually feel love again and so shortly after Mark.