Hi everyone,
sorry haven't said anything for a while. Thank you for all the wonderful advise and words of wisdom. I put myself in the hospital on the 27th and got out a week later. Shortest stay ever for me in a psych unit. My friend took me in and was wonderful to me. I did take pills, but not to kill me, but to numb me out and my mind from the body memories and pain inside. I ended up waking up 14 hours later or so and went back to sleep and then i called my friend and told her and she asked me if she could take me to the hospital...so i said yes cause i knew what would happen next.

anyways, am home and the next day i was in the er for severe pain, but am fine.

thanks again for all the nice words and thoughts.

hugs,
jen