I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to relate to my 19 year old son, who is just starting his sophomore year in college. He seemed unhappy for a good part of the summer and said that he was "glad he was going to live in a dorm this year that stayed open all the time," so he "wouldn't have to come home during all the holidays." He also told me I am a "bad mom."

I don't want to be a "helicopter mother," as people say now. But I want him to know I care. How often should I check in with him? I just can't figure him out! Help! Should I try to question him more about his feelings or should I just give him his space, since he's now basically a grown man?

I have to say that my feelings are really hurt. I know I've lacked sometimes as a mother because I have bipolar, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, and other health problems, but I did try my best.....Sigh. I'm really feeling down about it all.