((((jiahkan))))

Everyone has to learn things in their own time and own way... Advice is easy to give to others but hard to take

If I was you I just totally forget this guy. you deserve much better then how he has treated you - in the past and now recently. I know that you had a crush on him, and that the feelings are probably still inside. If people could just emotionally 'switch off' life would be easier (LOL for me anyway) but emotions do play a big part in who we are and how we react to things.
Don't feel embarassed by your actions, he should be embarassed by his!