It has been so hard fighting this depression. Today I didn't go to partial, instead the people from the diversion program took me to legal services for advice, and to go food shopping and to the laundromat.

It feels so good to have food again in the house.

But this evening my arthritis is hurting so bad... even with an extra dose of painkiller, I still was unable to move out of bed all afternoon and evening (I didn't nap however, so hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight). It hurts so badly right now, and I just want it to subside enough for me to sleep, but I also want to be able to get up in the morning and not take a half hour just to get up from the bed.

So I didn't have any opportunity to eat any of the food I bought today... it is all down one flight of stairs... no way tonight... and so now I don't even care about it any more and I'm not even very hungry.

I hate drinking tap water. I never ever drink tap water. But I've had to because I've had nothing in the house for two weeks. Now I have milk and soda and Gatorade... and I took my evening meds with tap water tonight because I just can't face going downstairs.

I freakin' hate this, and it is very hard for me to get past... which I will need to do to get past this depression.