Gently1,
I'm not sure exactly what you're experiencing... it sounds like you feel that you are reaching a point where you need to make some kind of decision? I don't know the situation that you are in, but a couple things I have learned from my experience are 1) try not to make huge, life-changing decisions when I am really depressed, and 2) take things one day at a time, or even 10 minutes at a time...

Could it be possible to work on healing for ten minutes, and then hide and recover for an hour, then work on healing for fifteen minutes? I guess what I'm trying to say is that things in my life rarely seem to be so black/white and either/or. For me, getting better often looks like one step forward and two steps back.

thinking of you,
garden gal