Yes, I am on the edge, as I find that after working in GT, and my own exploration of my new willingness to be aware, that the small changes/steps have let me to a place where it seemed to be time to 'make a leap of faith' and step through the shield of distrust that I had built around me a long time ago and is no longer serving me.
I feel a time pressure but it is me, I really thought I would be further along - judgemental thinking. Pdoc advised forcing issues could slow down healing. Even lead to decompensation.

My distress is that I have a trait of working until I drop, and had pushed myself into another flare-up of depression. Yes 'one step forward and two back' I keep having to learn that I can not control everything, and even though it is true I am close to the fire of tranformation, it is what it is.

My decision to open up in group and trust in myself and the group wisdom, does not have a deadline. So I have decided to continue in GT and see what comes up for me at the time. Saying hello to black and white thinking as awareness, and not judging myself. If I happen to open up to new territory, it will be what and when it will be.

Thanks for the pacing advice, I follow www.flylady.net to learn how to pace my house work and now you have suggested the same fly lady idea that we are never behind just start where we are at.

Garden Gal, thank you. I am going to rest now.