Gently1,

Yes, I can relate. I am kind of stuck in a similar state of mind. My depression has eased in the past few months. I am sure of that. I am in a romance, and have become completely smitten with him. However, I am very aware that my state of mind is extremely fragile.

I do worry about leaning upon my bf too much; over-reacting to something & pushing him away; and not really being able to handle the pains of daily life. Times have come in which I was very close to ending life. What kept me from taking that final step was the hope that my bf gave me ~ the hope that my life may actually get better someday. I actually caught myself even daydreaming about living with my bf, out in the country. I haven't fantasized in YEARS! It feels strange ~ scary, yet enjoyable.

It is a fragile teeter totter that I'm on. I am sitting on it as steadily as possible to avoid the fall. Is this what you're talking about?? Either way, best wishes to you! Hope that the depression continues to ease.