i have been reading your posts about this fear of aging and dieing. i wonder what it is exactly you fear about these things. is it the physical aspect or the emotional/intellectual. i think we all grow as we age learn from our experiences and become wiser for it. one day i will be a crone (love the term for old wise women dont you?) we all go through the physical changes and those we can work on (hair coloring, exercise, eating right) i found a white hair on my head the other day, talk about traumatic so i pulled it out and shortly afte i found more. im hoping it turns a beautiful white so i can let it be all natural. with the death fear is that also a physical fear, you have many options to make sure you are cared for and wont be in any pain(hospice is a great option for that) do you have all your final wishes down in a will so you know these things will be taken care of. are you afraid of what the afterlife will bring? finding out what you really believe can make a big difference. i have been told that athiests at the end are more afraid than any other group. perhaps figuring out what you believe will help. perhaps getting your final wishes ready will ease your mind on the end. i know everyone says it will be ok in the end it will work out. i hear that all the time, and actually tell people all the time too. it seems you have pushed yourself to be super busy and the perfect wife and mother for a long time. it is ok to take time out for yourself. relax a little, take this time while you are feeling anxious to use to take care of yourself. perhaps in your next post if you type positive affirmations(whether you believe them or not) and reading them over agian will help. i really have no answers as i avoid social situations even though i am extremely lonely. i think the er is a good idea. they will evaluate you and probably get you to an inpatient situation where you will have group and individual therapy probably get meds set up(even if they havent worked in the past) i wish you luck and hope you keep posting as here you do have people that care, you are not alone.