When you feel so powerless like this, try to focus on the ways that you can help - it may not seem like much, but sitting with them, being someone they can talk to or small gestures like bring them a book or music while they wait at hospital or cooking them a meal when they get home makes a HUGE difference to how they feel. How we feel is so much more important that whatever happens. To be loved, even when things are terrible, is an amazing gift.