Thanks so much for all the kind and supportive replies, everyone! Clearly I was not having a good day when I posted that!

It turns out that this friend--the one I was so sure I had alienated forever--is a rare treasure. She's one of those people who somehow "gets" me, even tho she didn't even know what BPD was when I met her. She knows now that when I'm in one of my moods, it isn't about her, it's just about me and the wretched borderline stuff, and she is so wonderful about accepting that. She knows how to "talk me down" when I start getting really upset over something--I don't know how she does it, but she does!! I was on the phone with her one weekend, crying hysterically because I had just found out my beloved cat has heartworms (a lot more serious in cats than in dogs), and she was alternately comforting me and telling me firmly, "Chin up!" Well, that actually made me laugh--altho she lives in the US now, she's English, and I couldn't help laughing--I said, "Oh Lyn, you sound sooo English when you talk like that!" She started laughing too. If you'd told me at the beginning of that phone call (when I was crying so hard I could hardly speak) that I would end up laughing, I would've said you need your head examined!! Lyn is now one of my dearest friends in the world--we joke that except for my being several years older than she is, and the fact that she was born in England and I am American, we must've been separated at birth! I am blessed to have found her!!!

And I'm glad I found all of you too--you are so kind and I know you understand how frustrating and exhausting this disorder is! I've been really hyper today, feeling GREAT--I know it won't last (nobody feels great ALL the time anyhow!), but I can look back when I feel down and discouraged and know that I can still feel joy. As you know, when we're feeling really awful, we tend to think we will never feel better ever again. But thankfully that isn't true!!!

And my kitty-cat--while she still has heartworms --is taking one prednisone pill every night to help control her symptoms. It isn't a cure, but it definitely helps, and I am feeling much more hopeful about her. She's eating and drinking well, she's playing, and she's a happy girl--I can tell she's feeling good! I was worried that we would have a very hard time giving her the pills, but she has been an angel about it, even tho she doesn't exactly like it (lol), but she's making it incredibly easy for us to give her the pill every night. I am so proud of my Sweetpea!!!

Oh--and yes, I am seeing a therapist, and I got lucky with her too! We hit it off immediately--she's a wonderful, warm, funny person and I trust her totally. I'm also on meds--Cymbalta for depression and Xanax for anxiety, which is another big problem for me. I also take Ambien at times for sleep (I'm a night owl so I tend to get my days and nights backwards!), and my family doctor, Sharon (who is also terrific!) suggested that I take Omega-3 supplements every night and I do think it helps.

Anyway--sorry for babbling on so long but I am in one of my talkative moods as you no doubt have noticed! Thanks again for all the support, it really means a lot to me!

Hugs,
Patti