Thank you for your replies, they mean a lot to me.
I nearly couldn't reply to these because I feel so low. Nearly couldn't be bothered. How I managed to log in is beyond me.
Its ridiculous just how, spaced, I feel.

I probably should see my doc, but its just the fact that I actually have to pick up the phone and call him. It sounds trivial I know, but I just don't have enough energy right now for a conversation.

I hope it gets better.

Self harm and other issues aside, i've never been so low in my entire life. I've never had this little drive.