I guess that's one theory. I know my T wouldn't agree with this. So he must be reading a different book from you, SAWE. If you are wondering why you come late to an appointment one day, you may be able to find the answer by looking inside. I believe you can know if you are doing it because you are hostile (or scared or reluctant to confront your problems or perennially disorganized or whatever). Or you can know if you were late simply because traffic was horrendous that day and even the best laid plans do sometimes go astray. As you wrote, human beings are complex. There is going to be no one answer in therapy that fits everyone or that fits the same person every single day. For example, I always pay for my sessions at the beginning. Why? My T asked me on the very first day of therapy to pay at the beginning. I am respecting his wishes and the way he wants to establish the frame of therapy. There's nothing to do with being controlling. Also, he gave me the reason that he likes clients to pay at the beginning so that then we can end our session and work with that being the last thing on our mind, not yanked back into having to write a check. It seems like a good reason and has nothing to do with my being controlling. See what I mean? Everyone is different, both client and T, and we have unique reasons for doing what we do.

I absolutely agree with you that not everything we do is driven by some unconscious compulsion. I do believe we are capable of doing much on our own. I believe in free will.

I read a "therapy book" quite a while ago where each chapter was about a particular session that different therapists found memorable or noteworthy in some way. There were about 30 chapters and each represented a different theoretical approach. It was useful to me to read this because it helped clarify to me which approaches I aligned with personally (and which I found completely stupid!). And there were some approaches I really did find either misguided or actually felt some antipathy towards. My reactions told me a lot about myself. I don't think any person would read all 30 chapters and "agree" with them or imagine they might all be equally, personally useful in therapy. I guess I'm trying to say that whatever book you read saying people who are early to therapy are obsessive-compulsive (rather than just considerate and respectful of their T's schedule) isn't necessarily the truth for everyone, and it's OK that it not be the truth for everyone. We're complex, we're human.

I wouldn't necessarily conclude that from what you wrote.

That is the way it works for me too, Sannah, although I understand not everyone may be that way. I have found some books I have read to be quite helpful, though, but I tend not to bring their content into therapy.