Hi newnurse! I totally agree with blueoctober about the need for professional help. And I really hope you're able to get some. When your husband says that "you have the power to stop it", I don't think that's true. Unfortunately there is a lot of ignorance surrounding mental illness and many people still fail to realize that, when we are clinically depressed, it takes a lot more than "willpower" to get over it. We need professional help, and there is nothing wrong with that!! Mental Illness is just as real as any physical illness and I really hope you're able to see a psychiatrist and that he/she can get you started on an effective form of treatment, be that medication or therapy or a combination of different options.

Good luck to you!