(((((rainbow)))))
I agree with wepow, I was struck by the image of you sitting there and looking her in the eyes, not closing your eyes, not looking away, not even giving yourself the distraction of fidgeting. That must have been so difficult! You have a lot of courage. Week after week I'm impressed with your ability to go in there and tell your T your innermost feelings and thoughts. I can't do that, most of them I can't even look at myself.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now, and I hope you get exactly the response you need from your T.