In my own defense:

1) you were late to the party

Everybody KNOWS I don't drive and contrary to what my son believes, I don't CONTROL my husband.

2) you caused a scene

I don't think I did. I was still inside my motor home through all of it. No one else except my GD, my husband and my son knew what was going on.

3) you had gone off your medication abruptly... you know how dangerous it can be and the moodiness it can cause

Through no fault of my own. If I'd had a choice, I certainly WOULDN'T have.

The "not trusting you to do a good job"

My son TOLD me that's why the other grandma bought the cake. It's not an assumption on my part.

I would be more likely to assume that she really wanted to be the cake provider

You got THAT right!! Was trying to give my side of the story without any emotion or JUDGEMENT.

a situation that didn't have to turn sour

Right again! My impression? My granddaughter is learning to MANIPULATE from her mother. That is EXACTLY what her mother does (withhold affection, among other things) when my son doesn't do exactly as she says. Throwing the cake out the door and onto the ground wouldn't have been much different, would it? However, I just SAID it almost a month later to Jerry.

I spent that money because it was MY ONLY GRANDDAUGHTER that asked for it. Granted, I didn't know it was going to cost that much, but I would do it again... for that little girl. I DO NOT resent my granddaughter at all. SHE, AUTUMN, is the only one I did it for! I know that, had it not been for what she heard and saw from her parents and other grandmother, she would have been all over me with hugs and kisses! It doesn't take much at all for me to make that little girl happy.

It's not all about the cake, Lee Ann... it's what Autumn is being taught at home. It's about all the freakin' hurt feelings, manipulation, separation and bullcrap that doesn't need to happen. It's about how my son and Jerry are reacting to the whole situation! For John not to talk to me and Jerry to think of SEPARATION from ME because of the DIL manipulation?? Good Lord!!!! This is INSANE and beyond belief!!!!!!! (Those exclamation marks were NOT for you, ok?)