so, okay. i know i cannot be the only one in the world who has or has had this problem.... so i've decided it's time to reach out and get some opinions from others who have bipolar themselves.

at this point in my life, 10+ years after the disorder reared it's ugly face in my life, i have been on probably just about every medication there is. (therapy has been ongoing the whole time.) within the last year, i thought i had finally found the perfect medication cocktail: lamictal & lithium. wow. i felt like.... an entirely new person. a great person, but not TOO great - ya know? i was stable, i was doing things, managing stressful situations when they arose, functioning, etc. i had been on lamictal for about 7 years, and it worked pretty decent i guess - but it was when we added the lithium things really started changing. then, i got a nasty rash all over. and i had to go off my meds one by one, and several dermatologist appointments, a biopsy, & 3 months later, it turns out it was the lithium.

no, my doctor wants to try depakote (which i took for a few years when i was younger) alone for at least 2 months. i haven't been on it long, i suppose, but i do still feel that it should be managing my moods at least a little bit better by this point. i don't know. something. i've had a depression, hypomania, mania, and now depression again.

so i guess what i'm getting to is.... i feel lost. do i keep trying medicine combo after med combo for years to come, do i keep hoping more new meds are released? and i know this is controversial, but has anyone any experience with ECT? i mean, i feel like i'm at the end of a road. i've never brought the topic up with my pdoc, so i don't know even know if he'd go for it. but.... something has to give soon, i feel.

any comments would be greatly appreciated.

additional info: i have also tried meditation, hypnosis, a couple other natural routes. i'm getting kinda hopeless at this point.