Hi everyone,

Ermmm... i dont quite know what to say.

Ive been, until recently, secretly dealing with depression. I think it stems from when i had glandular fever a few years back. I spent alot of time when i was ill alone at Uni without my family. And now i see a counsellor once a week but i wanted to talk to like minded people cos i kinda hoped you would understand.

Im 20 and would you believe a cheerleader, yet i find it so hard to even like myself. Im crying now cos im admitting what i think.

Its hard to pinpoint what i dont like... all i know is that im single and lonely and i dont think im ever gonna be happy.

When people give me compliments i throw it back in their faces and laugh like what they are saying is a lie. I dont believe anything people say cos ive been lied too so much and let down too often.

Ive fallen in love with one of our football players... we've kissed a couple of times and i finally (a year later) admitted i liked him... he said there was too much water under the bridge for anything to happen between us.Im crushed, all it has done is reinforce the hatred i have of myself.

All i want is to nt hate myself and to be happy.
But due to cut backs the light at the end of my tunnel has been turned off )

Thanks for reading this... it helps to get it off my chest