Thanks for all the encouragement and support. This morning I was supposed to go to the doctors. It was my first appt with my new primary care phyisican and I was planning on addressing my depression. It is kind of a big rigaramore to get to the doctors office via public transportation. First my bus was late, sending me into a panic about how to get to the appt on time. As I was frantically searching for a number to call the bus came.

I got on, drenched with sweat and got off at the dr office with some time to spare. I went to the bathroom to freshen up.

I get into the office and submit my new patient paperwork. Then the receptionists call me aside and tell me that my dr is tending to an emergency situation and my appt is now cancelled. Apparently there was a bad accident at the dr parking garage.

So I have no choice but to turn around and wait in the hot sun forever for the hourly bus that takes me the hour and a half commute to work. My appt is rescheduled for first thing tomorrow.

I managed to keep a steady voice as I accepted the office apologies but I did let them know gently what a big production it is for me to get there and get to work.

So then I broke down. I put on my sunglasses and started sobbing. I now had to wait in the hot sun for a bus for 45 min and I was starving because I was fasting to get blood work done. At work my productivity is suffering because I am un motivated and exhausted due to my depression. I am a fairly new employee and I can't take a vacation day or a sick day for another month and a half.

I called my mom to vent about the situation. She was incredibly understanding. She kindly suggested I tell my dr how the cancelation affected me emotionally to give clarity to my emotional and mental issues I need to address. That prompted another crying fest and this time it was on the bus.

I am not mad at my doctor for the situation...it wasn't her fault....I am just more frusterated with myself that I can't just bounce back from the little things.