Are you saying that you're feeling suicidal? If so, then please, please call someone as soon as possible--your therapist, if you have one--or go to the emergency room....

Read your excellent quotes that you have on your site. Remember that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." You're obviously struggling right now, but if you hang in here, things will get better. Trying to commit suicide is not a courageous action. Okay? Let us know how you're doing. You have folks here you care about you!