granite, I don't think your T thinks you are selfish. Her own comment about herself was just that--about herself, not you. I think she probably just wishes she could help you and is frustrated she hasn't been able to help. But as others have said, those are her feelings and she can deal with them.

If your thinking that you are selfish helps motivate you in some way to talk, then by all means use it! If you think that talking will make you seem less selfish, then go for it! (I use all sorts of weird stuff to help motivate me, whether they are based on distortions or whatever.)