so, it took me quite some time to figure out where to put this, but i finally realized that this issue, for me, is a communication issue. "what issue?" you ask, well, i'll tell you i have always had the feeling that people didn't understand me, since i was a kid, i had that feeling. i know EVERYONE has that feeling... lol, so few of the things that we think are our own little quirks are really our own, more often than not, MANY people have felt/do feel that same way... but this is a bit different (maybe?), i think that it is a communication issue that i have. i have a very strong NEED to make sure that i am understood, so i like to explain myself (lol as you can tell by this long post) very thoroughly, just to make sure. the thing is, that people seem to take what i am saying as if i am arguing with them.

for example, today at work i had a disagreement with my supervisor on how something is required to be done, i expressed myself to her, and she said she would ask the manager, all very civil when the answer came back, and i was wrong/incorrect, i proceeded to thank them both for clarifying, then i explained why i had thought what i did, which both immediately took as me arguing with them... of course i found this to be a bit stressful, i don't want them to think i am arguing, they are my boss & supervisor after all, and i'm not arguing, just trying to convey to them where i was coming from and, again, that i appreciate the clarification *sigh* so, i can feel myself getting a little freaked out, "do i just walk away? but they don't understand me yet... oh no, now they think i'm getting mad and trying to prove my point, oh no..." of course this inner conflict reads to others that i am angry, and there is no way to gracefully bow out of the conversation at this point, at least none that i can think of, not without it seeming that i am walking away mad... so i try to say "thanks for clarifying that for me" and smile and walk away...

so, this is a long post, but hopefully, you can see what i am talking about... i'm not sure how to change this behavior... i don't seem to notice other people behaving this way, but then again, i just may not be noticing... any suggestions for how to learn to let go of this need? or how to communicate my point more clearly so that i don't have the need? or well... any input would be appreciated... thank you