(((((ACQPL))))) I'm really sorry you feel so bad. Well done for calling your doctor. I'm sorry you weren't able to keep the appointment, but I really hope you will try again. Is there someone who could take you to the appointment - a friend or family member - and wait in the waiting room for you? Perhaps it would help if you had some moral support?

I agree with the other posters who say that it doesn't sound as though you are on the right medication. Your anti-depressant shouldn't make you feel like a zombie and take away all your drive and motivation. And your doctor should be able to help you try some other options. You CAN feel better again if you get the right help. Please don't deny yourself that chance.

Wishing you all the best!