I'll just address the second part of splitting. For me awareness (developed through therapy) has really helped. I still think and feel that way sometimes, but now I can examine my thoughts and ask myself "Is that reasonable?" I can usually manage to talk myself through it. For example, if someone doesn't call me when they say they will, I automatically think that they don't care about me or that I did something wrong and they hate me and so on. I used to get really upset and cry or scream at them when I saw them or do something destructive or dangerous. Now I think that and then I start telling myself over and over that there could be a lot of explanations. They could have gotten busy at work or their phone battery died. I remind myself of times in the past when there have been reasonable explanations for similar situations. I can talk myself through it and wait until I have the chance to talk to them and see what actually happened. I don't know if the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings ever stop. They haven't for me, but I deal with them better than I did.