Awww...I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time! I wish there were some way we could all show up at your place with cake and ice cream and funny hats

It's a fact, and there's no getting around it...this really sucks. If you can, just remind yourself that it really is going to get better, seriously. I had a time many years ago, when I lived in a camp trailer in a friends backyard, hooked up to the garden hose, with a long extension cord running from the house...couldn't find a job, had debts I couldn't pay, destroyed my credit, did not believe it would ever get better. But it did...it took a long time, though. And there's no getting around that, either. Just remember, we are here for you and I hope for your birthday we have given you a little hope.