Yes on the showing up and ooooh, funny hats! Or those things with the long springs and styrofoam balls in the ends that whoop around (what are those called?!). They are very amusing.

Sorry you are feeling so low, FitPrk3. Birthdays and holidays and such sometimes just plain don't feel so great. One day it struck me that there are good times and bad times and they come when they do, taking no account whatsoever of the calendar. Thinking about that helped me to not put such pressure on given days, as it was the expectations of what that day "should" be that was actually causing the pain. Don't know if that helps at all (took me years and years to actually think of it... never you mind how many years! )

You've been going through a real rough patch lately, but I hope very much that our birthday greetings and such bring you some measure of happiness or at least comfort that we're out here, care and are pulling for you.