I am NT :-) but didn't find anything strange or much different in your shaking hands than what happens with me. No, I don't wipe my hand first but I don't feel I sweat much or have gotten them dirty (but I do worry they'll notice my bitten nails) so I don't have any "reason" to want to wipe my hand? I do all the reminders to look the person in the eye and wonder the same about a new person (friend or foe) as you do and as I suspect most thoughtful people do! If there are more than three people saying goodbye to each other, I "wander off" while others are doing their goodbyes, bored because I've done mine already and am ready to move on.

I don't think sociability has much to do with whether we're NT or have AS but with our background and the personality we're born with. I can be quite clever and witty, for example, have a lot of "charm" but I do not see myself as "warm", do not consider myself good on the sociability scale, despite, like you, having learned more than enough social manners (dinner with the Queen anyone? I know which pieces of silver to use, when).

I think some of the difference is in how we see ourselves. People who feel relaxed in a situation probably see themselves as relaxed people. I was in therapy for GAD and now that I am not so anxious, I see myself as more relaxed and am more likely to initiate conversation, especially with someone I view as more anxious than I. I think we get a "pecking order" in our head when we're young too, as well as having a natural disposition and it can be heck to learn that the pecking order is mostly in our head, that other people may/may not have their own pecking order going and we may/may not be where we think we are overall, in their order.

But I really want to thank you for your thoughtful blog post and for letting me read it, it has gotten me thinking about my own social difficulties (my daughter-in-law hugs "naturally" at the drop of a hat and I feel stiff, too large, and awkward) and how I might help myself feel better.