Queen, I think the reason you do not understand the concept is because its a judgement and not a concept. Sounds like its other people's agendas ( perhaps born of their own ignorance and fear). I know first hand how painful those agendas can be. I think that the hardest thing for me is that I often believe them. And then judge myself thinking they are right and I should be doing more. Could be doing more. Am falling short. I offer this to you because perhaps I am not alone in feeling this response. I think that "deal with it" and "get over it"...... are words said with a lack of wisdom. Hugs for you (((((Queen)))))