Wow. Well, I went in to see T. This was one of the rare times when he asked me to come in without me asking to see him. I did need to see him. I was terrified because I am familiar with being punished when I have emotions. So it was not easy to go, but I made myself do it. I wanted to tell him I had other plans!

I am very glad I went, even though I still feel a little like I got an emotional spanking. LOL. It is ok though. He told me things I needed to hear. It reminded me of the old Zen master giving the student a good solid thump when needed - often out of the blue.

I still have a zillion things to process from the session. But it really was what I needed to hear. I need to go journal the things. Also, he gave me homework to do - which is wise. I have to make a plan for stopping spirals - steps I take when I go into emotional flooding.

There is something deep inside that was wounded during session but I don't know what that is. I am sure it is something about the past - as it always is. But I don't know what. So I will go through the workout and do what I need to do.

It is a lot of work to heal. But I do believe it is worth the effort.