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Sep 11, 2010, 01:03 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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((((((((((MandiePoo))))))))))
I hope friendly cyber hugs are okay? 
I hear you and I'm sorry that you hurt, both physically and emotionally.  I am dealing with the PTSD issues myself and your words ring so true for what I experience. Over the last year, my new T has done great with me and we have made progress, I guess, but with the progress I am noticing that I now feel the emotional pain more and it hurts worse. She says that this is because I am learning to process the old pain and that it shows I have been able to move passed a barrier. I just know that I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired myself.
Is it possible that you too are learning to process your pain and have progressed passed a barrier that prevents you from moving forward? I hope so. I know what it's like to feel stuck, like it's never going to end. And I still sit and cry and ask myself why I am even bothering to put myself through it all. But now there's something there that says...maybe I can unlearn the negative thinking.
I don't know....I feel like it's too early to tell. But I am tired of thinking and re-thinking of these old traumas and I am still trying to figure out how to make them stop. I'm still waiting for the next person to come along and treat me like I am less than human. How long will I wait?
I'm here for you!! Inside, I think we're both really strong.  We'd have to be, to be able to cope and deal with this on a daily basis. Please know you're not alone!! 
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