Poseygurl,

I wasn't planning on leaving. I truly have a need to talk this out with intelligent people who've maybe gone through stuff like this before. This forum is helping me do that and I really do cherish all of your (everyone's) input. And no one has told me I'm scum . . . .yet! :-)

I'm very sorry for the pain your divorce has put you through. Let me ask you something . . . .what would you have done if your husband sat you down, held your hand, and told (in a gentle, non-accusatory tone) you why he was hurting in the marriage. Would you have gotten incredibly defensive and looked to turn the tables/conversation on him to let him know how he was failing you. Or would you have listened and looked inside yourself to see what you could truly try to change?

I believe the answer to that question will give you the prediction as to whether a couple will divorce 99% of the time.

Now to answer your question . . . .yes, I do love my wife and this is why things are so hard. It's because of that love I can see a flicker of light just over the horizon for us. I know it's the light of truly fulfilling love between a husband and wife. I thought we were getting there, now it just seems like constant horizon, and I fear we won't get there unless two people try. One person won't get the job done.

That's the nature of love, isn't it? To be real, it MUST involve two people, huh?

MMF