Back in 2006, my husband and I were split up. I was staying at his mom's house fora couple of days . his mom takes alot of pills. imean that woman can take a whole bottle of xanax and not be falling around. She is also addicted to ultrams, she takes around 10 at a time. She also has high BP and seizures. Well one night, she did'nt have any xanax and she was taking those ultrams like candy. Between the ultrams raising her already high bp and the I guess detox of not having any xanax, she fell out in a sezuire. She hit her head in the tile and got a tiny cut but it bled like I have never seen. Out of reflex I grabbed some paper towels and put my hand over it. Blood got all over my hand and her face. I had a cut on my hand from punching through a window in a panic attack the week before. And ever since then aids is in my head. I asked her if she had anything like that and she said no cause she was in prison the year before and I guess in the pen they test you for all stds. And well she looks healthier than she did 4 years ago. She gained about 40 punds (she got sober) and looks really good. I keep bringing it up to her and she keeps telling me it is ok. My husband says that it is too. But every time me or him gets a little sick. my fears get so bad I do not even want to get out of bed. M best friend died from aids. But the docs said they belive he had it untreated for 3 years before he died. And he went from 220 lbs to 120 lbs just from 2007 till 2008. I asked him before he died and he said i would know if I were sick because for 2 years he has had constant diarrieah and extreme weight loss without trying and alot of lung infections. Really bad one's not just bronchitis but he said he could'nt even talk because he could'nt breathe and would cough and have really bad chest pain. And he just felt plain sick all that time. He helped calm my fears about it. And all that but his death made all this worse. He died fom pcp pnumonia. My husband and I have severe allergies. Around this time of year everyone in my town will get the worst cough and everyone looks like crap cause we live ina river town where allergens are bad. So I have had it ow my husband has it. He has been coughing and had congestion. So now my nerves are really bad. I went to my doc Wendsday and she said my heart rate was very high (my anxiety) and did an EKG (it was fine) I did'nt wn tot tell her I had'nt been asleep yet (my pain kept me from sleeping) because I did'nt want her to think I was a druggie or something. She wanted to check my blood for aniemia and to see if my Iron levels or pottasium were down. So she did a CBC. I am so nervous about it. I get the results Mon. or Tues. I'm nervous. I fell sick to my stomach. Sorry if this makes no sense but my thoughts are really jumbled right now.