(((((((((((((WePow))))))))))))))),

I read your entire thread for the first time now. (I've been away for a few days.) I went through your elation and then your despair. The highs and the lows. You sound a little like me. The highs are so high, and the lows are so low. Now it seems like you're in the middle, a better place.

Your experience with T sounds like what happens to me with each T. I build up my trust for them, think they really, really care and then they 'shatter my dreams." I hear the glass breaking. This T hadn't done that until last session when she talked about how the hand-holding didn't mean the same to her, and then about her other clients. Shattered glass.

But, there's life after shattered glass. Our Ts still care for us and want to be there to help us heal. Just not the way we wish they would be. It hurts very badly. It's horrible, but hopeful at the same time. It's our life; T can't take care of us the way we want. But they can still hold our hand, literally or figuratively.

I don't know if any of this helps you. Please take care of yourself. You're very important to lots of people. I care about you a lot.