I feel so alone, and I don't think I really care anymore..I have a hard time caring about anything right now. Everytime I take a chance on people I always seem to choose people who will hurt me, whether they mean to or not. So I feel, what's the use? I don't want to bother putting the effort out that it takes to meet new people when I am so subconsciously drawn to those who end up hurting me. And if they don't then I subconsciously sabotage the relationship. I really wanted to change my life and stop my isolation, even if it was just online, but it seems I am simply addicted to being alone. I am too comfortable with it, even as painful as it is. It just isn't worth getting my hopes up for a fullfilling relationship when everytime I think I'm going to have one something ends up killing it. I'm so tired of the heartache and disappointment.