Thanks Nikki, I don't mind the faith reference, but I want someone physically in my life, or at least some online companionship...Someone who wants to spend time with me more than anyone else. And I have had therapy, probably 10 plus years accumative or more. It has taught me what my problem is, but it's me who's been unable to alter my behavior....I end up with the same people, or make bad decisions that sabotage things. I really think I am so use to being alone since my teen years when being alone was much safer for me than being with the bully I put up with through those years. Problem was, it was hard to trust anyone after experiencing that, and it still is, even though I'm over 50 now. I'm still drawn to unsafe people.