Hello Brenna,

Welcome to PC. I have agoraphobia which stops me from leaving the house at all unless there is a very good reason even then there is no guarantee that I will go anyway.

Therapy is supposed to be good but it didn't work for me, the T I had was more interested in telling me about her other patients. As soon as people find out I'm a counsellor they switch from patient care to patient discussion. I appreciate the conference but it's inappropriate.

I've only left the house a hand full of times since 2004 and then only when my partner is with me. I have tried to overcome the issue by booking and paying for flights to the mainland so that I would have to go because they are paid for and I don't like to waste money. I was ok for a while but then went into constant panic attack mode wanting to make my way home and hide.

I go out less now than I did before. But I am ok with that. There never is a problem for the one who has the problem. Every time we leave the house we consider ourselves better, healed though it doesn't work that way.

There is a carers support forum where you would get support and advice from other carers as well as ideas that may help you.

I would tell you one thing now. Don't put trips and holidays off because if you do you may as well be the one who wrote "Cats in the Cradle" because your kids will grow up resenting their father. Go away take time out, either with the kids or without them; you need a holiday as they do at times. It isn't worth putting off experiences you will never otherwise have. At least make some memories for you and the kids. Your husband won't mind believe me.

I encourage my partner to go out maintaining the photography and going far and wide and he does do that, though I know he would rather me be with him he does understand that there are only certain times I will go most of those I catch myself unawares and decide to go on the spur of the moment and take my anxiety and panic meds with me. Sometimes I like to catch myself out it really is like living with more than one person haha.

I really feel for you, but I feel for your hubby too. I can see it from both sides and it is so wearing on the carer especially when there are children involved. If there are family friends or the kids friends who volunteer to take them to games or their place while you have a soak in the bath, or get your hair done etc then please take those rare kinds of opportunities so that you don't burn out,

Take care