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it is never acceptable to hit another human being. there are constructive ways to express yourself. i'd definitely speak with your T or pdoc about this asap so they can work with you on this.
we cannot contol or change other people but we can change ourselves and how we cope with life.
you are not a "bad person"...just someone who needs some productive ways/skills to express yourself.
if it were me i'd apologise to your mother even if you feel she wronged you too. it's a start in communicating better.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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