I am late to this thread! Haven't been around lately much. But zoo, I am so proud of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
is that what hope is? It's been so long since I felt it, I didn't know.
sometimes getting better is scary. I don't like being depressed & scared but I damn sure know how to do it after all this time. Being healthy, though? No freaking clue how to do that.  |
Oh boy can I relate to that, zoo. My therapist asks me sometimes who would be made wrong if I were healthy. I realized that health is not a part of the "story" of who I am. That for so long I've been on this road where my identity and self are wrapped up in "being messed up," I would have to change my whole story of who I am to be able to be healthy. I don't know if you relate to that but it's what your statement reminded me of.
Zoo, you ARE rewriting your story
. It's a beautiful thing. Being healthy? It's not something you have to know how to do. Don't try too hard to do it "right" and keep checking to see if you're doing it "wrong." You're doing it RIGHT NOW. You're doing it by being your own cheerleader right now. You're doing it in the in-between moments. And you already KNOW that being in T has made those in-between moments, those moments you are kind of okay, get longer and longer. That is health.
